A man thinking
by koumi11
Summary: What was Julian thinking during 6.23


JULIAN'S POV

God, I am here. She is somewhere here. I am going to see her soon. I can imagine her perfect body, her bright smile and these perfect dimples, her hazel eyes. I can still feel her touch; I can still remember how beautiful she smells. I love her so much.

Ok. It 's time to meet her after so much time apart. " Is she over me?" "Maybe she likes someone else?" "What if she is with a date here" these thoughts are in my mind since Lucas invited me to his wedding.

I am stupid. What do I care if she is with someone else. I am here with Missy. That's why I brought her. God, who am I kidding. I brought her just to make Brooke jealous.

OH MY GOD, there she is. My breath is stuck in my throat. God, I just realized how much I missed her. She is so beautiful. She is gorgeous as always. She is so stunning and breathtaking. God knows how much I love her.

She didn't know I was going to be here. I have to remember to kill Lucas for that.

"It's good to see you"

My heart skipped when she said that. Her rapsy voice. I missed hearing this voice.

"It looks like actually we both have dates." I am stupid. She wants a date with me and I brought… Missy… She came at the wrong moment but I guess, here we are. Let the show begin.

By the look on Brooke's face she seems jealous that I brought Missy with me, but she tries to be polite.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

I sit next to Missy waiting for the bride. Well, I personally wait for the maid of honor.

There she is. She is wearing a great black dress, definitely she made it by herself. She looks at me. She looks at me with anger. I guess it works.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

The ceremony was really great. I am happy for P. Sawyer. She deserves to be happy. Now we are at the reception. I can see Lucas… I guess I have to congratulate him. Who could ever think that me, Julian Baker, would congratulate Lucas Scott for his marriage with Peyton Sawyer, me first love? It is crazy.

While talking with Lucas I spot Brooke. I am happy to see her again, but wait, she is not alone. Who the hell is the guy with her? God, if he touches her I 'll kill him.

"…my date. Nick Lachey."

Nick Lachey as Nick Lachey? I wonder what does Brooke like in him. And she is not the only one I see. Missy is really exited to meet him. Even the fake Brooke prefers this guy? What the hell is wrong with her?

I am not jealous. I am not jealous. I am not jealous.

MISSY: Nick Lachey… Brooke Davis, slutty wedding sex

No way. Just the thought of Brooke having sex with someone else drives me crazy. That cant happen… I am going to kill this guy.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

God, we all sit in the same table. The two happy couples. Brooke is flirting with him. Why is she flirting with him? I have to make him seem stupid… Come on Julian… you have to think about something immediately… That's it…

"Is it hot in here. Like what… 98 degrees."

Wasn't that great?

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ouch… My eye hurts. Ok; I might deserved Nick's punch. God, what is Brooke going to think now?

I am sitting here with Peyton. I was supposed to be with Brooke.

I used to love them.. That's true… I loved them until I saw him with MY Brooke.

And he is so cool. How am I going to compete with someone like him? How am I going to win Brooke back. I miss her so much. I just want to hold her.

Peyton doesn't know what happened? That means that Brooke loves me… If it wasn't important to her she would have told Peyton, wouldn't she?

Peyton thinks I should tell her that I miss her. Maybe she is right… I think she is right. Brooke always wanted to know the truth. But, what if I scare her? What if that make her more distant? I don't know what to do… I think I ll tell her. It cant get any worst. I have already lost her. So, this is the only that might make her love me back.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Peyton went back to Lucas. I am going back to my table. I am going to ask Brooke to come with me and then tell her that I miss her and that I love her.

What the hell? He has his arm around her shoulder? And she is smiling to him? Wait, she didn't just ask him to dance with her? Ok, maybe telling her how I feel isn't a good idea. She seems to be over me.

Whatever Brooke. You are not going to make me jealous. I ll just enjoy the rest of my night.

………………………………………………………………………………………......

I asked Missy to dance with me.

Damn it… she is good. She is kissing his neck. Oh, I hate this Nick-boy so much. If she wants this ok. I 'll kiss mini Brooke. Ha, I am not that bad my self.

Wait, she kisses him? French style? I am going to through up. I cant stand seeing her with HIM anymore. I am going to leave. I take missy and we leave.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ok, maybe leaving was a bad idea. Now I don't know what they are doing. What if they are kissing again? What if they left together? I need to go back.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

I enter Tric again. There she is. I am so glad she is alone. That means they are not together. Does that mean she likes me? Did she do all this things just to make me jealous?

I ask her to dance with me. She says "no"! I have to make her dance with me..

"Dance with me or say I love you"

I hope she takes the second; but she doesn't. Ok, I am so happy I am going to hold her one more time in my hands. God, she still fits perfectly in my embrace. My heart is racing. It is unbelievable that she has such an effect on me. She smells so nice. She is so beautiful. I am stupid for leaving Tree Hill. We could still be together.

I have to talk to her about something; anything. I just want to hear her voice. What could that possibly be? Sam! My little kiddo. I love so much Sam.

"How is Sammy?"

As soon as I say her name I can see the sadness in Brooke's eyes. They suddenly become darker. But why? What could have happened that made Brooke so sad.

BROOKE: She went to leave with her birth mom.

I AM STUPID. I left Brooke and she went through this alone. I know how much she loved Sam. I loved her too. I know that Brooke loved Sam unconditionally. She was so happy and bright when she talked about her. She must hurt so much. Brooke must be really shattered. I can see it in her eyes. She is so depressed. I have to tell her something that will probably make her feel better.

"…She loves you"

I just want to hold her in my arms and make the pain go away, to kiss her until she forgets everything; but this is impossible, especially now that Sam left. It will be really hard to make her open up to me. But I will try and I will fight for her.

Maybe she doesn't want me too. I have to ask her why she didn't tell me…

Her answer… She pulls away and says that she cant do that? Do what?

She fights to hold back her tears.

I want to scream to her that I love her but… I just cant…

BROOKE: I miss you…

And with that she leaves…

God, I should have told her that I still love her, that I want her back.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

I am walking on Tree Hill's roads, in the night. I don't know where I am going. I am just remembering the happiest days of my life. The days I was with Brooke and Sam. The days we were a family. I am walking and walking without going somewhere. Suddenly I realize I am in front of COB. The lights are on. BROOKE. She is inside. I have to go and tell her I love her. I step inside and call her name. I hear footsteps. It 's not Brooke. Who is this woman then?

I tell who I am. She is so arrogant. She tells me who she is. Victoria Davis. Well, well, well. This night is getting more interesting. What the hell does she want in Brooke's store? Ok, maybe I should leave before I say something I will regret. But, Brooke have to know I was looking for her. I ask Victoria to tell her and I turn to leave.

VICTORIA: Would you realize that the name of the company is COB?

Gee, doesn't she have a heart. She is just like my father. I am kind of pissed off right now. But I try to be nice… I turn around so that I am facing her. It 's time that someone in this world fight her and protect Brooke. I tell her about that ass of my father. They would be a perfect matching.

"…she is so talented and goodhearted and beautiful"

Yes, that is Brooke. Who does this woman think she is? Her daughter is the most wonderful person in the whole universe and she makes her feel like she is not worth anything.

VICTORIA: Are you finished?

This woman wont stop anywhere

"NO"

I am not finished you bitch. I wont let you destroy that girl. I love her with all my heart. She gave me a reason to live and to want to be a better man; so no, I am not done with you.

"I love your daughter"

Yes I LOVE her… I cant express how I feel about her.

"One of these days she is going to love me back"

I know it. I can feel it. I am going to make her love me back. And then… I am going to protect her. I wont allow to anyone to hurt her again.

Her face is a bit shocked. It was time that someone told her a few things. While walking outside I feel great. I told someone how I felt. I defended the woman I am in love with.

I hope that one day she will love me the way I do. But even if that day never comes, I wont stop loving her. I 'll wait for her, because Brooke Penelope Davis is worth waiting forever.


End file.
